Empathy

Empathy comes easy for "neuro-typicals" or those who don't have autism or Asperger syndrome. Basically, I have a hard time looking at situations from another person's point of view, basically seeing things through their eyes and feeling what they are feeling. The idiom, "put yourself in my shoes" is relating to empathy and sensitivity. I have had to learn this skill and to this day, in a way, I still lack the concept of empathy because when someone is feeling sad or mad or whatever the emotion may be, I have a hard time actually understanding what they feel or what they're going through unless they verbalize it or vocalize it in some kind of way. To rephrase what I said, I am generally not an insensitive person, but there are quite a few insensitive streaks within me which causes me to make insensitive or somehow inappropriate comments. These result in one of two things, either that I highly offended someone or that I wind up in trouble (quite possibly both in certain scenarios). It's something that I need to work on because someday I would like to help/take care of someone who needs it (i.e. a sick animal, an elderly person, a cancer patient). Being compassionate and having empathy are somewhat different, and at the same time, they both go hand and hand. I will eventually discuss the similarities and differences between the two. Thanks everyone.

So I've decided:

Since I rarely use this and I really don't have any followers, I am going to bitch and complain like I wish I had someone to do that with (more for myself, really). First thing, sometimes I wonder if having Asperger's syndrome is a blessing or a curse. Honestly, I have to say it is a little bit of both because there are both benefits and downsides to having Aspergers/autism. First, I would like to discuss the downsides in an effort to just get the negativity out the way. The major downsides are that I really can't understand how to properly connect socially (and that causes me to fail in potential friendships/boyfriend-girlfriend relationships). Regardless of how hard I try to understand it, I just don't seem to get certain codes and cues that my "typically developing" peers have little to no difficulty understanding. For me, it just takes lots of work and that can be pretty frustrating at times, but the situation is what it is and the only that I can do is try to figure out how to make it better or easier for myself and/or other people. I try to remind myself that God has a specific purpose for me here on this earth. Basically, what I am saying is that I can easily distinguish between verbal forms of communication/gestures, but nonverbal, not so much. It has taken years to figure out and possibly going to take many more years, but at the end of the day, only time can tell. I will discuss its benefits later (don't know when, so don't ask me).

Question: How do you feel about having autism/being autistic?

Honestly, that is a pretty complicated question to answer because some days I enjoy having it, some days I don't really care, and other days I wish I never had it. First, I would like to talk about when I wish I never had it. The times that I absolutely wish that I never had it are when I am in a social setting and I just may say or do the wrong thing sometimes and when I'm on Facebook, people would block me because apparently I am a nuisance to them, and there are many other examples too. Also, I would like to talk about when I actually love being Asperger's/autistic. The times that I actually love it are when I am in class, I am just naturally able to process certain details that neurotypical people cannot process or at least have great difficulty processing. Basically, there are benefits and downfalls to having Asperger's or autism.

Sixteen

Yesterday was my sixteenth birthday. So, just wanted my fellow followers to become informed. More details on the next blog.

Trials and Tribulations

We all go through trials. We all go through tribulations, whether you're autistic, Asperger, ADHD, Bipolar, or "normal". Even "normal" go through trials and tribulations because we're all humans It doesn't matter what you go through, it matters how you choose to handle it (but sometimes, that is not necessarily true because you can't help but to blow up over certain situations, and that's where maintaing your composure comes into play). Like me, for example, sometimes just the slightest thing is magnified enough to send me in to a major meltdown that causes people to think, "What the hell's wrong with her?" or "Why is she so mad?" or "Get over yourself. It's not a big deal." or even, "It's not going to kill you. STOP COMPLAINING!!!". Really, what you may perceive as a small problem is a major problem for me. We Aspies try to spend time to look things through a neurotypical's perspective, but they don't really take the time out to see things our way. It really fucking hurts. Just saying.

Thanks.

One Of Eminem's Most Motivating Songs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQoGAb2KZUI

Asperger Syndrome and Facebook

Many people have been wondering if social networking sites such as Facebook helps or hurts young adolescents with Asperger's. The answer is both because we tend to have awkward social skills and Facebook can help us observe the social world. Also, it hurts us because we can become highly addicted to it and people can make jokes about us via Facebook or have ulterior motives. Unfortunately, we cannot distinguish between who is being genuinely nice and who is trying to make a joke because we are often so unsuspecting and people tend to take advantage of that. I had a Facebook account. Things seemed to be going pretty well when I first created it and then, the longer I was an active member, the more I felt the need to check it. First, it was once a month, then once a week, then daily, then hourly, then minutely, and then it got to the point where I would literally feel empty or regretful if I just went five minutes without checking it. Also, it got to a point where I created a bashing page for one of my teachers. I did not know how serious of an issue Facebook was for me until it started to consume and influence the person who I once was. More specifically, I was thinking that my 600+ friends on Facebook dictated how popular or unpopular I was, I thought that these people were my friends in real life (but a lot of them are just mere acquaintances), and there were issues with people being openly mean and disrespectful to me via Facebook (i.e. sending inappropriate and derogatory messages to me, people writing mean stuff on my wall, and people would post mean and irrelevant comments on some of my status updates). I finally decided that just simply quitting the cold turkey Facebook was one of the toughest, but also, the best decisions I have ever made when it came to the internet because I clearly wasn't using it for its intended purpose, but instead, it was my drug (metaphorically speaking). It was basically like a drug because when our house went nearly a whole, entire week without internet access, I began to feel empty and also began to search for new ways to access Facebook (i.e. using my brother's iphone). I think it is time for me to face my demon when it comes to Facebook.

Thanks followers,
Kristian Thomas